Addicted
by Um. Fish
Summary: oneshot movie verse Wendy hasn't been herself ever since Peter left her. Every day grows harder, how long will she have to wait for Peter to return?


Addicted

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Peter Pan related. I also don't own the song "Addicted" by Kelly Clarkson. Yeah.

**A/N: **I was inspired to write this story while I was listening to Kelly Clarkson's new Album, "Breakaway." I suggest you listen to the recommended song while reading this. This is just a short little oneshot that I've been dying to write. I was sick and had nothing to do so I wrote this. Hope you like it!

Torrents of rain pounded the cobblestone streets and the violent wind whipped the curtains in a frenzy. Dark, brooding clouds blocked what would have been a starry night. But one star was still visible – his star.

Neverland.

Despite the horrible weather, Wendy sat at the windowsill, her dressing gown pulled tightly around her. You would find her every night, regardless the conditions. The window was wide open, and the cold air and sprinkles of water rushed into the nursery. But Wendy did not mind the chill. Her thoughts were far, far away, where no earthly element could bother her.

_(It's like you're a drug_

_It's like you're a demon I can't face down)_

It had been almost a year since that remarkable boy had left Wendy her, in London, to grow up. It was not long after he left that she regretted not going back to Neverland with him. This place was purgatory in her mind, neither Heaven nor Hell. She was just stuck here, not going anywhere, not entirely conscious to what went on around her. Because her thoughts were on Heaven, and what it would take to get her there.

_(It's like I'm stuck_

_It's like I'm running from you all the time)_

Wendy held tightly to the pierced acorn that hung from her neck. She had sworn to never take it off, and she never would. Surely if she believed hard enough, if she held the trinket tighter, he would here her thoughts and dreams. Surely he would return to her.

Wendy had told herself the same thing every night for the past year, and yet no such thing happened. He had abandoned her when she needed him. And oh, how she needed him! She had never thought before that it would be hard to live without someone or something, but now she realized as she struggled day by day to keep hold of her loveliest of memories.

Peter Pan.

_(And I know I let you have all the power)_

Just the name sent shivers down her spine. She had given everything she could to him, let him have her for what he willed. That arrogant little boy had complete power over her, why did he not use it? She would do anything for him, she knew. Nothing would hold her back from him except himself. Such sacrifice she had made, why would he now throw it back in her face?

Rage welled up in Wendy, boiling the blood in her veins. How could he do this to her? How could he? He had no right, absolutely no right, and yet he still tormented her so!

But Wendy knew in her heart she could never really be angry with him, for in all truth he had done nothing wrong. She had told him quite clearly that she was to go home and grow up, and she should be glad that he respected her wishes. But she was not happy, and she did not want to grow up. Not anymore, at least.

And he had broken his promise to her, to come back and visit and here stories. And she forgave him, for he certainly had more important things to do. Had he forgotten her? He said he wouldn't, but as it turns out his promises don't add to much anymore.

_(It's like the only company I seek is misery all around)_

Wendy turned from the window to assure herself that her brothers were sleeping soundly, which they were. They seemed to be the only good part of the bargain. Wendy loved her brothers very much, all eight of them. They kept Wendy young, alive, and happy as much as they could, for they knew of her grief of Peter. But not even they could lift the heavy weight of sorrow from her heart.

The boys didn't seem to disturbed by the freezing air, as Wendy had piled more blankets on them They knew she would be sitting their tonight, ready to wake them if – no, **when**– Peter showed up.

John watched Wendy without her knowing. He knew that Peter Pan was not likely to return after such a long time, but he knew that he could not convince his sister so. He wanted her to get over the boy, to forget what he meant to her. All the boys were already close to doing so. They did miss Peter, though, but they had moved on at least. Why couldn't she?

_(It's like you're a leech_

_Sucking the life from me_

_It's like I can't breathe_

_Without you inside of me)_

He watched silently as Wendy's happy personality faded day by day. It seemed that only he and his mother were the only one's who noticed. Sometimes he would glance at his mother, to see if she was catching this like he was. He saw then the shadow behind her eyes, and the questions that lingered there.

Why wasn't her beloved daughter happy? Didn't she love her home, her family? It was quite obvious she'd rather be somewhere else, but where? What place could be better that where a loving family resides, where warmth and cheer were always bright? Before the three Darling children had disappeared, they chant excitedly about this boy, Peter Pan. Wendy talked rarely about him as the year went by. But he was just made up like all the rest of their fictional story characters. Or so she had believed. She had also once thought that her children couldn't fly out a window and return weeks later the same way!

Mrs. Darling did in fact believe in Peter Pan, or as much as an adult possibly could, but at least she tried, unlike her husband. She knew that they were with him when they had flown away, so it must be him that Wendy missed.

_(And I know I let you have all the power_

_And I realize I'm never gonna quit you overtime)_

She had once tried to confront her daughter about, but Wendy would have none of it, saying that she **was** happy here, why wouldn't she be? And Wendy dismissed the topic. But the restless want for adventure and a certain boy still laid there, hidden behind her eyes, and only Mrs. Darling and her oldest son could see right through her façade.

So here Wendy sat, an acorn clenched in her palm, the wind blowing her hair, and light drops of rain on her pale face. Her dark blue eyes stared unseeingly at that one bright star, hoping to catch a glimpse of a peculiar shadow against the stormy clouds. But none came, as she expected. It was always the same thing, the same thought, the same hope and wish and desire every night, over and over again.

Mrs. Darling gently opened the door to the nursery, a lit candle in her hand. She sighed at the sight of her daughter at the window. Wendy turned to see her and was overly surprised. She invited her to come sit by her. The wind snuffed the candle out as Mrs. darling neared the open window, but the moonlight directed a fine path. Without a word, Wendy pointed to the desolate sky.

"Do you see that star right there, Mother? The one almost hidden between the crack in the clouds?" Wendy asked softly, careful not to wake the boys.

"Yes," Mary said once she found said star.

"That is my favorite star in the whole sky. It is impossible to hide or cover. See how to penetrates the rain and clouds? It refuses to be forgotten," Wendy said, her face suddenly lit up by a bolt of lightening from the heavens.

_(It's like I can't breathe_

_It's like I can't see anything_

_Nothing but you_

_I'm addicted to you)_

"It must have a very strong will to not be forgotten then. Sounds like a very courageous star, to face the storm clouds for you, Wendy," Mary replied. Wendy turned to her.

"It may have courage, but I know that it won't be forgotten be cause I won't forget it," Wendy whispered, raising her eyes back to the star.

"And I am sure that it will never forget you but-"

"It is much too late, Mother. Already I have elapsed from its memory. It used to speak to me when I was younger. It would tell me fantastic stories about a young boy whom always remained a boy, while the rest of the world grew around him. That star no longer tells me such stories. It may have left me behind, but it will never fade if I wish it so," Wendy rambled absent-mindedly. Her eyes were far away, her mother noticed, and her mind was elsewhere.

"Wendy, I love so very much. It was a childhood dream, darling. He's not going to come back," Mary stated with sorrow, for even she wished to see the magical boy. She rested her warm hands on Wendy's shoulders.

"I wish I could believe you mother, I really do! But the harder and harder I try to let him go, the harder it becomes. I know it was not just a dream, for I have this acorn he gave me, and that I did not make up! I know I could have found an acorn in the park, but notice this one. It looks nothing like those acorns and-"

"Darling, darling! It's alright, I believe you," Mary soothed with a bit of a smile at her daughter's want for this to be as real as possible.

"You do?" Wendy asked with wide eyes and amazement.

"Of course I do, dear. I can see the truth in your eyes. I am not saying that this Peter Pan isn't real, not at all! What I am saying is my concern for you darling. He has stolen you heart, Wendy, but he refuses to give it back. You grieve as though someone has died, and every night you sit at this window waiting. I don't want you wallowing in sorrow, Wendy I want you to be happy," Mary concluded, pulling Wendy to her in a hug. Wendy's eyes drowned in tears that began to pour down her face.

"I know, I know!" Wendy wailed. "But he will not leave me and I curse him for it!"

"To curse someone is a terrible thing, Wendy! Are you so sure that a curse is what Peter deserves?" Mary wondered aloud, still holding Wendy tight to her bosom, Wendy's arms around her middle. Wendy just proceeded to cry more. No she didn't want a curse on Peter. It was just – just . . . How could he do this to her?

_(It's like I can't think_

_Without you interrupting me_

_In my thoughts, in my dreams_

_You've taken over me_

_It's like I'm not me)_

"He has stolen my heart and my kiss. He's all I think about and when I try to think or focus on something else, he pops right back up to the top of things. No amount of time will make me forget him, and I know that he **must **and he **will** return!" Wendy cried out, and Mary's prayers went to her. Mary held her daughter at arm's length.

"If you love him and believe so strongly in Peter Pan, than I know he will return, Wendy, because no one can deny love. Not even Peter Pan," Mary said with all her heart.

"How do you know?" Wendy whispered, hastily wiping tears from her eyes and drying her face. Mary smiled and pointed back up to the sky.

"Because that amazing star just told me," Mary answered with a grin. Wendy's eyes grew bright and a smile grew upon her face.

"Now you should go back to your own bedroom and get some rest. And close this window, we'll all catch chill. I doubt Peter would come on a night such as this, and even if he did, I'm sure he could get in. Leave it unlatched. Goodnight, my love," Mary whispered and left the room. Wendy sighed and looked to the sky.

_(It's like I'm lost_

_It's like I'm giving up slowly_

_It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me_

_Leave me alone)_

The conversation Wendy had with her mother had given her confidence, but she had already waited a year for him. How much longer was she to wait? A deep sadness sunk into Wendy again, and her shoulders slumped. It would be an eternity before Peter would return, which led Wendy to another question. If Neverland had no time, then what if Peter did return, but she had already passed on? That was a most horrifying question and more tears escaped her eyes.

Forever would the boy she loved haunt her thoughts, dreams, and waking days. She had thought before how relieved of this weight she would be if she would only give up.

"_Wendy . . ."_

Wendy spun around to see if she had woken one of her brothers, but they were all sound asleep, even John.

"_Wendy . .."_

"Who's there?" Wendy stood up, fearfully searching the room for an intruder, but she found no one.

_"I was crying because my shadow won't stick. And I wasn't crying!"_

Wendy knew that voice well.

"Peter?" She cried quietly, but there came no answer.

"Girls are much to clever to fall out of their prams" 

"Peter?" Wendy called louder. "Peter where are you?" Nothing.

"_Come away, come away to Neverland where we'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again."_

"Peter, show yourself!" Wendy demanded. But there was no one there. Wendy collapsed on the floor, her sobs racking her shoulders.

_(And I know these voices in my head are mine alone_

_And I know Ill never change my ways if I don't give you up now)_

"Wendy? Why are you crying?"

Wendy grew silent. That voice did not belong to of her brothers. But it couldn't be. It was just another figment of her imagination, like the other voices. Why was her heart messing with her mind like this?

"Just go away, you're not really her just go away," Wendy moaned, rocking herself back and forth in a ball on the floor, her head buried in her arms.

_(It's like I can't breathe_

_It's like I can't see anything_

_Nothing but you_

_I'm addicted to you_

_It's like I can't think_

_Without you interrupting me_

_In my thoughts in my dreams_

_You've taken over me_

_It's like I'm not me)_

If he just visited her once, she'd be okay, knowing he didn't forget her, but even that was too much to ask! If she could just see his face, touch his dirty skin, give him one tiny thimble, then maybe she could continue living. But she knew that wouldn't satisfy her. She needed him constantly, always, all of him! She was entirely addicted him, and living without him tore her apart from the inside out. It was only a matter of time before she would surely die from the pain.

_(I'm hooked on you_

_I need a fix, I can't take it_

_Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it_

_I'll handle it, quit it_

_Just one more time, then that's it_

_Just a little bit more to get me through this)_

"Wendy?" There was that voice again. Wendy continued to cry, rocking herself gently. It'll be okay, she told herself. Just a little longer than the voice will leave. Oh, but it was such a wonderful sound! After not hearing it for so long . . .

_(It's like I can't breathe_

_It's like I can't see anything_

_Nothing but you_

_I'm addicted to you_

_It's like I can't think_

_Without you interrupting me_

_In my thoughts, in my dreams_

_You've taken over me_

_It's like I'm not me)_

A light hand fell on her shoulder. Wendy almost fainted. NO, it's not, could it be –

"Peter?" Wendy whispered. If there was a reply, then this must not be in her head, but real.

"It's me Wendy,. Why are you crying?" he asked. He had such a sweet voice, and Wendy absorbed it like a lifeline. Wendy spun around, and there he was, not looking a day older. His shaggy blonde curls, dirty skin, leaf and vine clothes, his knife at his hip. His eyes were those same sea-blue eyes that she could get lost in, though they were now laced with worry. Full, pink lips that were so amazingly soft in her memory. Wendy launched her self at him, hugging him tightly, and they tumbled to the floor.

Peter hesitantly placed his arms around her back, as he looked up to her face, as he was under him.

"Peter, its you! Oh, its you!" Wendy cried into his shoulder. He sat up, bringing her up with him. He gently wiped tears from her face.

"Why are you crying, Wendy lady?" he asked again. Wendy folded her hands in her lap and stared down at them

"I've missed you so much, Peter. So very much. I thought you had forgotten me," Wendy whispered, tears leaving trails down her delicate cheeks.

"I would never forget you, Wendy. I said I wouldn't," Peter replied, tucking a silky lock of hair behind her ear. Wendy looked back up at him, and threw her arms around him again. She let her head rest in the nook of his neck, taking in his woodsy scent. She felt Peter's arms snake around her waist.

"I missed you to Wendy," Peter whispered in her ear. Wendy tightened her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her until she was practically sitting on his lap. They sat their for a while, soaking the other, enjoying their silent reunion.

"Please don't leave me here Peter," Wendy said quietly into his neck, her breath tickling his sensitive skin. peter pulled her back a bit so he could look at her.

"Come with me, Wendy! Come away to Neverland!" Peter said excitedly, his face only inches away from hers. Wendy smiled grandly.

"I thought you would never ask, but not tonight. I want to say goodbye to my family tomorrow," Wendy explained, snuggling herself against Peter's warm body. Wendy's eyes grew heavy, as she felt at so at peace for the first time in a year, and the need for sleep took a toll on her.

"Wendy?" Peter asked. Wendy's arms began to slack around his neck as she closed her eyes.

"Mhmmm?" Peter took that as a sign to continue.

"C-can, Can I have a, a thimble?" Peter asked nervously, and he felt Wendy smile against his shoulder She pulled away from him slightly and smiled. They had both wanted this for so long, and now here was their chance.

"You don't have to ask, Peter. It's always been yours," Wendy replied with a grin before lowering her lips to Peter's. It was slow and warm. Peter raised his hand to rest on her soft cheek, his other arm wrapping tightly around her waist. Wendy's arms tightened once again around his neck, one hand snaking up to tangle in his hair.

Wendy pulled away, breathing a bit heavily. She rested her forehead against Peter's.

"That thimble was much different then the one on the Jolly Roger," Peter chuckled, also taking in deep breaths. Wendy smiled, ducking in and giving Peter another peck.

"The boys will want to know you're here," Wendy realized, breaking out of her reverie. Peter reluctantly let her go as she ran to her brother's bed.

"Boys, boys! Peter is here. He's returned!" Wendy exclaimed, tearing the blankets off each of them. They moaned and protested this, but after hearing about Peter they jumped off their beds and rushed over to him, and he promptly began to tell of all the adventures he'd had while he was gone. While all the boys were distracted, Wendy walked back to the window, leaning against the frame. She looked up at the Neverland star.

"Thank you," she whispered to herself, and she turned back to the commotion. And there was Peter, full of life as always, jumping about and thrashing his knife to exaggerate the tales he told. After and hour or two, the boys grew tired and returned to their beds. Wendy still stood at the window, wondering how lucky she become, that he had returned to her. After all her pain and suffering, he pops out of nowhere.

A warm hand clasped hers, and turned her around to face Peter. Cocky, conceited, arrogant Peter. Proud, brave, courageous Peter. Her Peter. He lowered his lips to her quickly, surprising her. She was so used to giving the kisses, it was nice to get one in return.

"I'll be back tomorrow night, to take you to Neverland," Peter said in her ear, before giving her a peck on the cheek and flying out the window. Wendy raised her fingers to her slightly swollen lips and smiled. He was coming back for her, and this time, she knew for sure. This time, she would leave with him. Tonight she would be able to sleep in peace. She had asked for a little bit more of him, saying she could deal with just that little bit. But she was wrong, and after that, she knew she would need more and more and more, because she was addicted to the boy who wouldn't grow up.

**A/N: **So what do you think? Not my best writing, but I liked writing this one. Please review!


End file.
